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New York, New York
What happened to Please and Thank you? Can we blame children and teenagers for their behavior or do we blame the parents? I created this blog to have some open and honest conversations about manners and civility. I am fortunate to have a career that allows me interactions with all types of people and I happen to live in the best city in the world! So follow my blog and see what I experience, and learn some of the important life skills I teach my students young and old. To find out more about me visit my site at www.swannoir.net

Monday, August 17, 2009

The Art of Small Talk

What is Small Talk? Before I give you a conservative definition, I would like you to think about when you were an awkward teen and your parents used to introduce you to people. They would say " Samantha, meet Donna and Bill our new neighbors." You would force out a smile and reluctantly say "hi"
Your Parents could have melted, you had to get the lecture all the way home, even if it was just next door. It may have gone like this: "I told you when you meet someone act excited, say hello and how are you, maybe even a little small talk, like do you have any children that I can play with?"
At that age you could care less, you just wanted to get home and watch television or play video games, you know, retreat into your teen world.

So, now you are an adult and hopefully if you are one of the blessed today with a job, you need to know how to do a little small talk at the office, in the elevator, or in the conference room before the meeting starts. So, here are a few hints about small talk. For a complete workshop send me an email and we can have some "small talk" and figure out how to help you.

Small Talk- Light, informal conversation for social situations. More commonly known as chit chat. Do not let the words chit and chat fool you, they could get you a job, maybe the beginning of a new relationship (business or personal), and even a valuable contact in your profession.

So why is it important you say, well besides the examples above , small talk allows you to connect with people in a social arena, workplace, or possibly widen your business circles.
Remember to keep the conversations light and polite. Some people have been known to cross some serious boundaries when it comes to small talk. Here are three topics that are considered *rude*

  1. What do you do for a living? (if you do not already know, let the other party offer that info)
  2. Where did you buy that shirt, oh and how much did you pay for it? (no brainer, I hope)

  3. Who are you are you voting for? ( yes, still inappropriate)

OK, so how do I improve? What do I say? Here are three topic starters and then I will let you know how to improve, its very simple.

  1. You seem as if you have a very interesting career? (if you just have to know, this is how to say it)

  2. Wow, that is an intriguing pin/necklace/ you have on. ( here you are complementing someones taste, not the cost or origin. Please do not ever complement someone on their clothes in business environment)

  3. What about this weather? (Its the old standby, and this summer is a great topic)

OK, so how do you improve? One word: expand. Yes, expand your horizons, get out more, travel, visit a museum, learn a language, read the paper.

It is that simple, now practice, practice, practice. Next time you get to the board room early, go over to Jim and say "Hi there Jim, how was your weekend? Did you get a chance to see any new films?" "This summer has been the craziest in years" "I just learned a new language over the past few weeks, hopefully I can travel abroad with the company"
It may sound a bit corny, but it sure beats staring at the wall or your watch and playing the Jeopardy anthem over and over in your head while your manager takes his sweet time getting to the meeting that he scheduled.

Get Talking!

Bon Chance.