Sisters Empowering Sisters Conference

Syracuse University

March 21, 2009

Nicole Jones- Founder and Director of Image Initiative

Bevy Smith- Keynote Speaker

Stephanie Hunt-Founder and Director Swan Noir

Swan Noir was honored to be a part of Image Initiative's Sisters Empowering Sisters Conference at the campus of Syracuse University this month.

For more information about Image Initiative visit:

http://imageinitiative.org/

Bully Rehab

According to the CDC 160,000 kids stay home from school each day because of the bullies in their school. Children and teens are teased and physically abused daily by bullies, and most wind up transferring to another school because they just can't take it.
Here is a great story that I watched on ABC Nightly News this past Sunday about what one principal has done about the bullying in his school.
He sent a survey to all the students and asked for the names of all the bullies in the school. When he received the names, he gathered all the "bullies" together in a classroom, not to punish them,but to find out why they were bullying?
This group of bullies usually have problems at home, problem with forming relationships, they are lashing out at other children because there is something wrong in their world. He even puts them on a reward system and monitors their bullying behavior. Well, guess what? It worked, there is now less bullying and disruptive behavior at that particular school.
The teens that left the middle school have returned and even the bullies are doing better.
What a tremendous effort by that principal. Wish I had his name..........

Is your Teen Sexting?!

Facebook, MySpace,IM, Texting, Chat Rooms, You Tube, Google, I certainly did not have any of these outlets of communication when I was growing up. I am sure there are parents out there that are just as overwhelmed by the search engines, Internet sites, and cell phone technology that consume our children.
Well, parents now we have a new problem and its called"Sexting." Sexting, in case you haven't heard, is sending naked or partially naked pictures by cell phone. 20% of teens have admitted to sexting, and there are harsh consequences.
Two thirteen, yes thirteen year old boys are facing some serious consequences for sexting pictures while in the classroom. When teachers witness this behavior they are required to call the police. Your teen could face child pornography charges, and may be forced to register as a sex offender. These laws may seem extreme, but these are the laws.
Use the news and the headlines to have an important conversation with your teens about sexting. Let them know that the consequences are harsh and can change your child's lives forever. The authorities are taking these cases very seriously and in my opinion they are looking to make some examples out the teens participating in texting naked pictures. Don't let your teen be the "example" Talk about it *now*

Here are some sites that help parents have conversations with your teens about Internet and cell phone safety~ http://bnetsavvy.org/wp/ & http://www.netsmartz.org/index.aspx

Bon Chance!

3 Seconds to make a Positive Impression

You walk into the interviewer's office. You are immediately sized up, judged, and evaluated in approximately 3 seconds. No, not fair,but true. So, what can you do to make sure that your initial "exterior" impression is a good one.
Let's start from top to bottom~

HAIR- Ladies: Your hair should be shoulder length or shorter in order to convey a positive professional image. Wear hair pulled back away from the eyes. Consider a neat bun or ponytail if you have longer hair. Men: Splurge on a chic haircut and avoid hair that covers your ears. Your facial hair should be neatly shaven, preferably beardless. Keep your brows neat and trimmed.

FACE- Ladies: Less equals more. Unless you are a Broadway actress, keep the makeup to a minimum. Breeze by the Saks counter and get some good advice on what looks good on you. Keep it subtle. Men: A clean shaven face, again no beards.

ACCESSORIES- Ladies: Earrings should be studs or pearls,no bigger than a dime. One bracelet and a conservative watch. Men: Fine quality cuff links, and a watch.

HYGIENE- The general rule for Ladies and Gentlemen is no perfume or cologne. Do not take the chance that the interviewer suffers from allergies or will be overwhelmed by your fragrance. Ladies be mindful of scented lotions as well. Nails neat and manicured. Teeth, pearly white and fresh breath. Breath spray or a breath mint. Absolutely no gum.

CLOTHING- Ladies: A conservative dark colored suit. If it is a skirt suit, hemline should be at or just above the knee. Hosiery should be new, no runs or snags. You may want to pack an extra pair in your purse, just in case. Stay away from trendy colors or fashions straight from the runway. Unless you are looking for a job in the fashion industry, remain conservative. Add a classic silk scarf or pin if you want a little flair. Men: A dark colored tailored suit. French cuffs for your cuff links, a quality leather belt, and a eye-catching silk tie.

SHOES- This may be the most important part of the whole package. Shoes speak volumes, good shoes say that you care about yourself and your appearance. Ladies: Stilettos have no business in the corporate world. Your pumps should look polished and new, the heels should not be worn. If your budget doesn't allow you to own styles by Chanel and Jimmy Choo, get to know your shoemaker. Men: Laced up shoes are the the most conservative. Save the slip ons, or shoes with tassels for after you are hired. Socks should be knee length and in good condition, so if you do cross your legs, no skin or hair is exposed.

Now you are prepared to make that 3 Second Positive First Impression. A quote from Abe Lincoln says it all. "Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe."

Bon Chance!

People Skills

The Job Chase- Many of us have heard that term over the past few months, and If I was a gambler I would bet that we all know someone, or of someone, who has been laid off recently.

Yes, these are tough times. So, how are you going to stand out amongst the thousands of people searching and interviewing for jobs daily. What is going to give you that competitive edge? I can tell you exactly what. Your "people" skills. People skills or Soft Skills are what make up your personality, that warm smiling face, your ability to hold a conversation or engage in small talk, and your genuine grace and charm. That is about 85 percent of what interviewers, recruiters, headhunters, managers, CEO's, Principals, etc. are looking for. I know we are not all perfect little angels, happy about everything all the time, so don't come across phony or plastic. Be yourself!

About 15 percent of the "package" represent your technical skills. Your higher degree, your certificates, accomplishments, etc. Do not take this the wrong way. I do believe your MBA matters, trust me, I know you payed a pretty penny for it! The bottom line is you could have all the credentials needed for the job, but if you have a horrible personality or the personality of a tree trunk then... I think you know what I am getting at.

In this very difficult time we are all going through right now please watch your manners, your please and thank yous, and your smile! They are watching.

Advice: The next Job Fair that you go to let your personality truly shine. Smile, make eye contact, give a firm handshake, and practice small talk with a recruiter. Then go right in and sell yourself, get that JOB..
Remember, soft skills first and then use that technical brain of yours!

Bon Chance!

Email Etiquette

To all my corporate geniuses I want you to pay careful attention to the following. I want you to read this post and commit it to memory the next time you are writing an email at work. There should be a course alone on email etiquette, and If someone is reading this and is interested please contact me as soon as possible. Yes, that was meant to sound "stern", I hope it worked.
Here are a few tips when writing your next email at work, and some of these tips can be applied to your social emails as well:

The first thing on the list which I feel is the most important is Tone. Ever heard, "It's all in the way you say it." Well, in this case, its all in the way you write it. The tone of your email should be professional, yet friendly. Avoid sounding arrogant, and bossy. For instance, I am changing careers, which many of us are doing at this very moment in this volatile economy. I am going to send an email to co-workers letting them know what my new contact information is and where my new career path will be taking me. I want to keep it short and simple, yet professional and friendly. Try this: To My Co-Workers at ABC Bank, In the next few weeks, I will be leaving ABC Bank to start my own business. I have had many great experiences with all of you and will cherish the relationships built here. Please keep in touch and you can follow my new career on my new blog. Find my new contact information below. All the best to each and everyone. Best Regards, Susie Teller.
Susie's attitude comes across as gracious and her tone is friendly. Stay away from a "dictator tone" Something like this: I will be leaving ABC Bank, make sure you have my new information. See below.
There was no greeting, the tone was bossy and definitely arrogant, and no salutation. If you are not sure that you come off this way, send your email to a friend to edit. Preferably someone who really knows you and can give you constructive criticism. Your tone is like your invisible body language, you are instantly judged by others, so watch it. And yes, watch it was meant to sound like your Mother said it to you, with that side eye.

The next tip is the use of CAPS. PLEASE DO NOT SEND AN EMAIL IN ALL CAPS. When you use all uppercase letters it is considered cyber shouting. I know that what you have to say is important, and you may need a response immediately. If you shout at me, how quickly or efficiently will I do what you need me to do? The same applies to email, it is rude and not necessary. Even if you have a wonderful announcement about a new employee that is doing a great job, consider italics or color. This usually works for me: Dear Peter, I hope that you are having a pleasant morning, at least a lot more pleasant than mine. I am in need of the ABC financial report *immediately* If you need some assistance please let me know and I can send Charles over to your office this afternoon. Thank you for your dedication to ABC Bank. Sincerely, Bob Banker. I can sense Bob's need for that report and I will now do my best to get the job done, and he even offered assistance. I would much rather put my time and energy into working for Bob, then a boss or co-worker who has just CYBER SHOUTED to me, wouldn't you?

Next tip, mind your Greetings and Sign-offs. Remember to say hello, how is your day going?, how is your ill sister? Make a brief connection, especially with people you are really not that familiar with. You don't have to tell me your family's history or how Aunt May is really hating the new nursing home. A few words of kindness, goes a long way. When ending an email, watch your sign-off. "Best" is lazy, two more words are not going to hurt. All the Best, Best Regards, Best to you, Wish you the Best, Have a great day, Keep up the great work, Nice seeing you. Practice good greetings and sign-offs in your email, always be gracious even if it hurts.

Respect people's time, less is more. If you just want to know what time you are meeting the group for lunch, write it in the subject line and end it with (EOM). EOM is an acronym for "end of message". The recipient won't have to open the email, and his/her time is respected. I would only use this with others that know the meaning. Discuss it with your friends over lunch and adapt it in your office, as a way to be considerate and thoughtful of your co-workers. This is a great tip for the millions of Blackberry users.
Example: Tasha, please meet me in the park for lunch at 1pm. (EOM)

I could continue, there is so much to say when it comes to email etiquette. I know that people do a lot more "skimming" these days, so I will stop here. Etiquette is about making others feel comfortable. Practice these tips and remember to proof-read and send it to a friend if you aren't sure about your tone. Bon Chance! Feel free to contact me at stephanie@swannoir.net if you have further questions or concerns.

The Aftermath- Where is the self-esteem?

First, I would like to say that the following is just my personal opinion. I have never met Chris Brown or Rhianna(Robin Fenty).
I cannot comment on what happened the night of the alleged pummeling of Pop Icon Rhianna's face. I cannot comment on the choice they have made to "work" on their relationship. I can say that I really do not care about their personal decisions whether to be a couple or not.
So, what do I want to talk about? Where is the self-esteem? What happened to just walking away? Our girls need to know that love does not equal abuse, and it never will.
Unfortunately, these two entertainers were looked up to, and that is another one of my issues. Why are these ,or should I say certain celebrities, so idolized? So, if it is ok for this "star" to allegedly hit his girlfriend and she is not pressing charges and working on the relationship, then it is ok for ME. No, it is not. Where are YOUR family values and morals?
Let's get back to the OLD school, when parents parented their girls and boys. We didn't allow celebrities and athletes to raise our children. No MORE passive parenting.
Communicate with your teens and tell them how despicable some of the behavior is we see from these teen "idols". When these teens and some adults make the headlines, make that the time when you sit your children down and say "NO way, this will not be you." Explain why, and what you expect from them. Repetition and Consistency is the best way to teach children. Be the best parent you can be now, plant those seeds and the reward will be bittersweet.
Bon Chance!

Try This...

The more you smile, the more positive reactions you will have from people. This is a scientific fact, and I am spreading the word. Try this the next time you are in public, smile at a complete stranger and see what happens. I can guarantee you they will smile back, a smile directly influences people's attitudes and how they will respond to you. Something interesting about women, and this may be why the experiment may be easier for my female friends: Women smile 87 percent of the time in social situations and Men 67 percent of the time. So, yes our men need a little nudge, or should I say smile! Bon Chance!

Thank you

Thank you to my new followers, I appreciate you. Here is a comment from my friend Garia:

Good Morning All, To be honest I don't think it is the young people that failed, but the older generation that failed us. I am from the midwest where we would get "popped" in our mouths if we didn't say yes sir, yes maam,or if we addressed our aunts and uncles by their first name only.When we moved to California people laughed at us when we addressed them appropriately. The common quote would be, " I am not that old."All this to say, those same people are wondering what happen to our youth? Steve Harvey said on Oprah, "Chivalry is not dead its just not required." Same thing goes for manners its just not required anymore. But this why we have people like Stephanie !lol -G-

Etiquette, Manners, Protocol,

Mind your manners, know the proper etiquette for a formal dinner, and what is the protocol in the White House?
Why is this important to teach to young people? I have a quote, again to share how I really feel about how important it is for young people to know these important "soft" skills.
" Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see." -John Lennon.
That just says it all for me. When you open your eyes to something new, travel, a way of life, a new word, or just learning, it is a beautiful thing.
I really enjoy what I do.

5 dollars....

I was just thinking as I am getting ready to veg on the couch, what did I witness today? I tend to observe people's manners and body language, especially fun in the airport. As I was thinking about others and deciding what to blog about, I said what about me? I had a great experience today when I gave an honest compliment to someone about the services that I received from their hotel, it is funny to see people tense up when you ask to speak to a manager. They automatically think that you are going to fire off complaint after complaint, expecting or demanding something free. Well, this time I had something good to say, and you should have seen their eyes brighten and people began to gravitate towards this good energy. Amazing how that works huh? Well, as I finished complimenting my experience at this particular hotel, I said "Thank you and have a good day, off to get a cup of coffee." The manger says "Wait just a minute, let me give you something." He hands me a voucher for 5 WHOLE DOLLARS, now in this economy that is like GOLD... 5 Dollars? wow, I was beaming..
I tell you this not at all to toot my own horn or brag that I received a free cup of coffee and a muffin from one of the most "popular" coffee places that we know of. (no hints, not getting royalties) I tell you this to say "A little Civility and a compliment and smile go a LONG way, try it."


Goodnight!