BOUNDaries~

Q~Should teens be "friends" with professors and or adults in authoritative positions such as coaches, counselors, bosses, or teachers aids?
A~ *NO*

When I was in grade school, many moons ago, we treated teachers with respect. Ms. Peabody was always called Ms. Peabody, never by her first name. I respected and had a certain sense of fear of her. Fear that if I didn't cross my t's and dot my i's, sit in class focused on the lesson, speak respectfully, or had any other notion of rude behavior there was trouble. I would either get a grade that would not please myself or my parents, or even worse just wait for parent teacher night and let the walls come tumbling down. I don't know about you but parent-teacher night was no fun, if my parents came home with a report that was not up to their satisfaction, there was trouble with a capital "T"

Today, young people have lost all of their marbles it seems when it comes to teacher-student relationships, where are the boundaries? Professors are considered pals and some quickly become "facebook friends"or text buddies, emails and instant messages to teachers have abbreviations and slang, some students use playful physical contact with teachers. All of this would have been deemed inappropriate not too long ago.

Is technology to blame? Are young people even aware that their behavior is rude?
Our culture has rapidly become more informal, communication is quick and often abbreviated. We have all seen the words used, even by adults, in text messages. "How was ur day?" "IDK, how bout urs?" Since when are ur and bout words, and not everyone knows what IDK means. It is cute from tween to tween, but not to your high school teacher or coach. Another mishap on the part of teens and young people is not having a professional email address. Hottamle95, is not professional and by no means should be used to communicate with a professor. First initial last name is standard.

So, what do we do? First, I think recognizing and talking about the problem is a great start. As I mentioned earlier some teens really have no earthly clue that they are being rude or disrespectful. The boundary line seems to be crossed more often then ever before. Here are a few things that you can begin to talk to young people in your life about, and maybe even check yourself on:

1. Do not ask to 'friend' teachers, coaches, bosses, co-workers unless you get a clear message that it is acceptable. My advice is to keep your personal life, personal.
2. Please spell words in emails and written communication 'bout' 'ur' 'NE' 'IDK' are not acceptable in the workplace nor in an email to your teacher.
3. Have an appropriate email address, first name and first initial/ last name are appropriate.
4. Please do not invite your college professor to a party that you are throwing at the frat house this weekend. Even if your professor is a few years your senior.
5. Do not IM, text, email, phone, or communicate to anyone of authority after 9pm. No it is not appropriate to text your teacher at 2am to let her know you will not be in class tomorrow.

Yes, addressing adults can be tricky for young people. Remember respect and formality come first. Draw the line between your friends and authority figures, and don't let technology dominate the relationship.

Remember, when we used to raise our hands?

"better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Lincoln